I haven't blogged in a long time because I haven't had anything to blog about. I stopped training for my try-a-tri because although I'm excited about the idea of doing a race I'm really not that committed to it. I didn't feel like I was successful enough at the running part to really do a good job at it. I felt like I was taking on too much (like learning to run before you can walk). I haven't totally given up on the idea of entering it yet. I have until the end of July to register. But, if I do enter it will be just to try it out as I am and see what happens. I no longer wish to train for it.
Now to most (and I'm sure my husband) this will seem like I'm giving up. I hear your exasperation and words of encouragement. To me it is not giving up (on the race and running yes, but on me and fitness no). I've been feeling like I'm trying to be someone I am not and have never been before. I shouldn't be surprised that I struggle with living a fit lifestyle when that is a lifestyle I never lived nor saw myself living. If my husband was not fit and very active now I don't think I would have even entertained fitness for as long as I did. It is not me.
What is me is doing things that I find interesting and exciting. So, I am going to shift the focus of my blog to reflect that. I am no longer learning to love the gym. I am learning to live an active life. I want to do more things and get outside more often. I don't want to spend time convincing myself to get off the couch to exercise. I want to get off the couch because I choose to go cycling, swimming, walking, geocaching, volleyballing, badmintoning, baseballing, gardening, etc. I feel like I need to change my lifestyle before I can change my mindset. I need to just do the things I love for fun first. Then I can get competitive about them and try to do them better in the future. I need to walk before I run.
Today I'm heading in a new direction and that direction will take me through all the active things I do now, want to do soon, and will do someday. Check out my new tab to see where I'm headed and stay tuned to my blog to read all about my new adventures.