Yesterday I decided to whack some weeds in my new yard while Chris cut the grass. I had to go onto the raised portion of our yard (a section behind a 2 foot retaining wall). When I went to get back down it was too awkward and far to step down easily so I planned to jump down. "Planned" being the key word because when I went to do it my mind and arms said jump and my feet and body said no. Literally said no by weighting itself into the ground. I thought that was weird so I went to jump again and ended up tripping closer to the edge but not jumping. My body was telling me it wasn't meant for jumping.
I had to stop and have a little think to myself about when was the last time I jumped. I thought back to my childhood days when I loved jumping double dutch and thought I must have jumped since then. I thought to karate a few years ago when I met Chris and had to jump and kick and warm-up. I thought to my Bachelor of Education when I had to do jumping jacks. And, I thought about jumping over the half ball at the gym. I told my body I was capable of jumping and this was ridiculous to be stopping me from doing so and I jumped down. It was a little rough but I made it upright. I had to do this two more times during my time outside working and each time I had to convince myself that I was going to jump because I could do it. I realized this was an issue.
I've always thought my health was important, but I've never been really concerned about it because I always thought as long as I can do the things I want to do why worry about it or make a change. Now I can't do things that I should be able to do without my body resisting it. I have to make a change.
But herein lies the problem. See Chris' blog post about knowing and doing because I know what I need to do, but I'm not doing it. Chris had this massive realization that got him geared up to make a change. I've had lots of little ones and my brain has said it is time to make the change on one level, but not in others.
This brought up an amazing conversation with Chris who has been beyond supportive and encouraging and enthusiastic and now has approached me with concern. Through his comments I have discovered that there are two other barriers to my fitness health that I have not worked on.
Firstly, that it has not become enough of a routine for me to even register in my thoughts of what to do each day. I told him that on my drive home from work I thought "yeah, I'm going to be home early so this would be the perfect time to go for a bike ride and get fitness in for the day". By the time I got home I had completely forgotten about the bike ride and instead made myself some supper. I had the intent, but not enough desire to actually remember to do it. I need to make fitness more consistent in the day so I remember it because it is not something I look forward to so much that I will remember it among other distractions.
Secondly, I am not willing to put myself first even when others are willing to allow me to be first. I have a hard time saying no to other commitments and figure I can fit my fitness in later, but the reality is that I don't fit it into my schedule. I need to realize that my husband will be just as happy (if not happier) if I ask him to do the dishes so I can go ride my bike as if I had done the dishes myself. I'm working on this.
That brings me to this morning when I recommitted to my fitness. I still can't run with my injured foot so I rode my bike. I planned to ride for 10 minutes out and however long back rather than aim for a distance. It took me just under 11 minutes to reach a turning point I could recognize on a map to chart later and a total bike time of 23 minutes 45 seconds. Chris has suggested I bike at a lower gear and peddle faster until my leg muscles develop that way I get my cardio going instead of tiring my muscles. It seemed to work well, but it was painfully slow on some sections of my ride no matter how fast I turned the peddles. It ended up being about 5.2km.